Weight And Discrimination

Seasons come and go, but unfortunately certain things are harder to change. Fashions evolve and trends race on, but an underlying aesthetic of body image, beauty and size continues to prevail. We have grown so accustomed to associating a woman's beauty with the slenderness of her waistline and the length of her thin legs that we hardly even realize... We have fallen victim to a terrible form of discrimination: SIZISM.

For at least the past four decades a culmination of factors and events have whetted our visual taste buds towards a decisively thin beauty aesthetic. Society has drilled into our heads for decades we need to be thin, thin, thin! Do you remember seeing many itty bitty pioneer women? And the nudes in the paintings and sculptures years ago? No way!

Through the 70's, silhouettes began loosing their curvy lusciousness and were literally stripped down to a bare minimum of skin and bones. The 'objects of desire' being portrayed in the images ceased to be the clothes or accessories but became the models themselves. Since then, it is needless to describe the media's role in infiltrating, shaping and molding our visual aesthetic. Our poor little eyes are now constantly being bombarded with image upon image of stick-thin, airbrushed glossy super-models. Our eyes are constantly being fed the same generic image of beauty and glamour over and over again and we have normalized it and accepted it as natural.

Technological developments have certainly aided this trend, images of supermodels are airbrushed to perfection, as well as aiding supermodels themselves to botox away any signs of ageing. Liposuction, plastic surgery, elaborate dieting, severe eating disorders and body dysmorphia have all been the nasty by-products of society's unquenched desire to conform to a certain SIZIST image of the beautiful.

It is quite obvious that the fashion industry and the media that surrounds it have participated hugely in cultivating our existing aesthetic stereotypes. But perhaps we must stop and question whether we as consumers are not at least partly to blame.

Have we been so blinded by the glitz and glamour surrounding the essence of super-model chic, that we have forgotten the importance of embracing beauty diversity? Have we ourselves become stubbornly addicted to accepting a limited and sizist aesthetic? Are we so insecure with our own looks and appearances that we seek guidance and approval from images on catwalks and pages of magazines? And above all, is it not perhaps time to challenge the aesthetic which prevails, in the sake of health and well-being?

Next time you look in the mirror, embrace what you see. Be glad for every aspect of your feminine physique. You are beautiful and worthy just the way you are.

Soft And Round - Honouring Our Bellies

How often have we gone to lunch with our girlfriends and one, if not all of them confess “I should not be eating. I feel so fat, my belly is so big.”

Everyone is dieting, trying to trim the tummy. Far too many of us think of our bellies as shameful. Our culture bid us to battle “the belly bulge” with weight loss pills, regiments, exercise gadgets, liposuction and tummy tucks. We’ve bankrolled multi-million dollar industries with the notion there’s something wrong with our bellies as they are. We’ve injured ourselves with eating and body image disorders. We’ve made ourselves miserable attempting to make our bellies invisible.

Tell me exactly what is so shameful about a woman’s nicely rounded belly? Advertising for girdles — a.k.a. “shapewear” — reads like an FBI directive for suppressing foreign insurgents. Using phrases like “achieve firm control” and “obtain total control,” the hangtags on these stomach-shrinking devices announce that they are in fact instruments of social restraint.

An ample belly was actually the fashion standard once but it seems as though since the dawn of the feminist movement, the most fashionable belly for a woman has become the one that you cannot see. Apparently, if women are allowed to wield some measure of political and economic power, they must deny the power inherent in their body’s center.

In fact the belly is a woman’s power center, both as a symbol and in physical fact. I suspect our culture labels a woman’s belly as shameful because it can’t stomach the fact that the belly is the pro-creative vessel. With the feminist agenda, the pro-choice movement, is it any wonder?

Looking beyond contemporary Western culture, we can see that cultures native to every continent have recognized the belly as the site of our “soul-power” or better put ‘procreative power’. They honor and respect the belly, they don’t look at it with disgust and shame, the belly is sacred not shameful. If we keep this in mind we would neither starve ourselves nor would we over eat.

Learning to revalue our bellies can essentially save our lives. Choosing to honor our bellies takes courage — yes, guts! Our culture bombards us with instructions to belittle our bellies and cut ourselves off from our belly. Many of us have internalized the culture’s devaluation of women, unwittingly working its violence upon ourselves. We’ve made our bellies the focus of our culturally imposed self-hate. But unless we grew up without the influence of family, school, friends, advertising, television, movies, books, newspapers, magazines, and toys how could we have learnt otherwise?

The good news is we don’t have to torture ourselves any longer. We can choose to support ourselves and each other in honoring our bellies. Instead of complaining to each other about the size of our stomachs, we can encourage each other to use our bellies in ways that create a life-affirming world. We can enter into a new conversation.

When we do so, we restore sanity and self-respect to our lives. So at that next lunch date with the girls, how about this: Jane listens respectfully as Gayle confesses, “I shouldn’t be eating. I feel so fat-my belly’s so big.” And she replies: “Yes, your belly is soft and round. If you found a precious jewel — something so precious it had the power to create life — wouldn’t you place it in a container that’s soft and round, to protect and nurture it?”

Think about it.

Real Women

Real women have curves, wrinkles, and flaws.
Each one earned with experience, perseverance and determination.
There's no computer to airbrush our mistakes.
We are just who we are.
Love every mark, every scar, every extra curve you wished to go away,
Accept what you can't learn to love,
Then let go of what you can't accept.
Treasure them for their memories
Like a worn love letter or ratty old quilt from generations of old.
Each wrinkle comes with the wisdom only years of life can give.
And life is not to be hidden or covered up.
For life is how a girl grows into a woman
And real women have curves, wrinkles and flaws.

You Are Special !

In all the world there is nobody like you.

Since the beginning of time, there has never been another person like you. Nobody has your smile. Nobody has your eyes, your nose, your hair, your hands, your voice.

Nobody can be found who has your handwriting.

Nobody anywhere has your tastes - for food or music or art.

No one sees things just as you do.

In all of time there has been no one who laughs like you, no one who cries like you. And what makes you laugh and cry will never provoke identical laughter and tears from anybody else, ever....

No one reacts to any situation just as you would react. You are special. You are the only one in all creation who has your set of abilities.

Oh, there will always be somebody who is better at one of the things you are good at, but no one in the universe can reach the quality of your combination of talents, ideas, abilities and feelings.

Like a room full of musical instruments, some may excel alone, but no one can match the symphony sound when all are played together.

You are special. You are rare.

And, in rarity, there is great value to us here on earth.

Because of your great rare value, you need not attempt to imitate others. You will accept - yes celebrate - your differences.

You are special. And you are beginning to realise it's no accident that you are special. You are beginning to see that God made you special for a very special purpose. He must have a job for you that no one else can do as well as you. Out of all the billions of applicants, only one is qualified, only one has the right combination of what it takes.

That one is you.

Because.....

You are special!