Bulldozers or Building Blocks?

We are a people who live and thrive on cutting people down. Some of us are plain and simply cruel and mean, we only feel good when we ruin the self –esteem of others. We tear each other apart about all our insecurities. "Have you seen how much weight she's gained?" "I can't believe she's wearing that skirt. I guess she doesn't care if people see her legs." "You know, you could have that removed."

We have created a society where we thrive on pointing out the flaws of others and relish in the fact that he/she is down and out. Take Brittney Spears, a prime example, how many people are really interested in helping this girl who obviously needs help? Weekly gossip magazines, gossip blogs and news channels make more money when Brittney is in the headlines. Brittney sells! It sickens me to know that there are online sites and places where you can go to guess and place money on when you think Brittney is going to have a complete breakdown and when she is going to commit suicide.

Is this the people we have become? We are hungry for all the latest ‘buzz” but more so we want to know when someone messes up. How often do we see or hear about when someone in Hollywood does some good? All those paparazzi swarming Hollywood, its only because so many people live for reading gossip. If ‘we’ did not want or crave this sort of info there would not be that many of the paparazzi out there. All these daily shows that keep us ‘updated’ on what is going on in Hollywood etc, what she is wearing, how she looked in this outfit or how bad she looked in that one, if no one was watching them they would not be on the airwaves.

Then there is this “shame” particularly about our bodies and our lifestyles if we do not perfectly fit the mould of what e should look like or have in order to be happy. Why would we do this? Why all the competition? What are we really competing for? What is the prize? Are we still on the children’s playground competing for popularity? Some people need to ruin someone else’s self-esteem in order to feel good about themselves.

What about people who congratulate and compliment you and you know its done with an undertone of “really, you achieved that?” or “why you and not me”. Why is it so hard to be genuinely nice and kind to each other? Why is it hard to be nice and kind to ourselves? Isn’t there enough pain and suffering in the world without us adding to it? Why cant we build each other up instead of cutting each other down?

Being nice begins with me, it begins with you. I’m not saying that its easy to be nice to everyone, some people choose to be cruel and mean to themselves and to others but why is it so hard to be nice and kind? I don’t like to live in the past but where have the good ole days of where people cared for each other, lived like brothers, respecting one another? Sure things were tough, people did not have as much yet they looked out for each other, they were kind, pleasant and respectful.

Maybe we have lost sight of the things that are really important and need to revisit the good ole days to see where have gone off course. Maybe we spend too much time worrying and whining about what others think about us and how we don’t fit into the perfect mould and will do just about anything including cut those around us down to fit into the mould.

The choice is ours, are we going to be building blocks or are we going to be bulldozers? I choose to be a building block not only to others but also to myself. I’m going to be nice, kind, generous and help to build those round me up. No matter how thin, or blond, or accomplished someone might be, everyone needs someone to be nice to them, someone to encourage them, someone to show compassion to them. Let us be the one who builds others up and soon we will see that by building others up, we are in fact building ourselves up too.

I'll Do Anything To Get Them - Teenage Girls and Plastic Surgery

We live in an image-obsessed, celebrity-driven culture.The enormous popularity of reality TV shows such as "Extreme Makeover," "The Swan" and MTV's "I Want a Famous Face," as well as an explosion of Web sites that extol the virtues of cosmetic medicine, has fueled the desire of adolescent girls to alter their bodies permanently, and they are finding more surgeons willing to oblige.

The rising number of teenage girls who are given the gift of knowing that their bodies aren't good enough, I’m referring to plastic surgery is disturbing. It’s really as if we are validating to our kids that something is wrong with their bodies and it’s natural to be unhappy about it. It’s as if getting bigger breasts or whatever procedure they undergo is going to make them more confident and get rid of their “hang-ups.” Some girls actually believe that they need big breasts to be successful in life and will name celebs like Pamela Anderson as proof to their claims. !?!? Who is feeding this to our girls?

These children certainly have body image issues but I believe the parents have even more issues to deal with! What parent in their right thinking mind would allow their fifteen year old daughter to have breast implants?!?! She is still developing and so what if she does not have big breasts? Are the size of her breasts the be all and end all of who and what she is and will become?

What I find so very disturbing is that parents are now giving their teens plastic surgery as sweet sixteen gifts, graduation gifts and as incentives to get good grades! Gone are the days of wanting to do well at school to move on in life, now doing good in school is seen as a means to get their parents to pay for them to have breast implants, nose jobs and liposuction!

Its kind of hard to convince your daughter otherwise when her mom, grandmother and aunts all have breast implants. Girls so want implants that they are taking loans to have these implants. Body image trumps safety. These girls and their parents don’t seem phased by the possible side effects, what some think are going to give them a lifetime of pleasure can turn into a lifetime of pain. Certain autoimmune disorders and neurological diseases can occur if the implants rupture.

These teens pushing for plastic surgery are not motivated by their health. They want to look like the women they see onscreen and in the magazines- or at least “look like everyone else.” We cannot deny that the media has a part to play in this but it’s also a physical comparison to others. Our society places very high premiums on “physical attractiveness” and rewards those who are thin, youthful and handsome. We also live in a culture that emphasizes competition and legitimizes “self-improvement” as a way to gain a competitive edge.

Do we realize that fashion is geared toward fueling and funding the weight loss industry and the cosmetic surgeons? Clothing is cut to make you feel that you either need to lose something to look good in it or enhance something for it to fit properly. All we see are flaws because that’s what they want us to see, we see flaws and we are willing to do just about anything to get rid of them.

So what can we do to save our girls? Are we going to give in and in essence validate that their bodies were made with flaws to be fixed and when fixed you are the “perfect woman”? What are your thoughts???

Fat Tax?-Fat Chance!

No! You haven't read the title wrong. A Doctor has made a suggestion that plus size people should pay more tax to cover any medical expenses. It is his august opinion that if a 'fat' person becomes ill then it is their own fault, therefore they get sick at their own expense. Why should 'normal' people have to pay for 'fat' people?

There is something deeply disturbing about this doctors idea's when it comes to medicare and who deserves more help. His whole philosophy is a 'nazification' of the Medicare programe. What is next? That oneday only blonde haired-blue eyed people will receive help, because the rest of us may not fit his ideal of the 'perfect person'? This is obscene and it is dangerous!

Let's face facts. We are responsible for what we eat, but that does not mean we deserve such blatant discrimination.

An entire industry has been built to cure Anorexia Nervosa/Bulimia. There are facilities which cater to those who have starved themselves almost to death. This is a self induced illness. Why, then are they not being penalized for denying themselves the food they need to eat in order to live productive lives? Is this not a double standard?

If food and weight are the problem then why does the Doctor not order a 'starvation tax'? Why? Because that would be cruel and inhumane. Or is it possible the good Doctor would prefer to look at an emaciated figure rather than a fuller figured person?

If we were to start down this Moral slippery sloap, then who amongst us is safe? Should we deny a woman a life saving operation to remove leaking breast implants? Or do we leave her to die if she cannot afford the operation? After all the lady made the choice to have her implants.

This is the conundrum which confronts us all when the decision to pick and choose who deserves medical assistance will be left to future 'Dr Mengele's'.

The emaciated figure on the left would receive help while the fuller figured lady would receive none. Go figure! What do YOU think?

How To Look Good Naked

There is a reality show called 'How To Look Good Naked', if it is showing in your country I would suggest you watch it.

I was amazed when watching this show to see how many women loathe their natural bodies and none of these women were hugely overweight, they were normal. Many broke down in tears when looking at themselves in the mirror and yet they were perfectly normal women with the usual lumps and bumps.

What we need to understand is that in many cases women who are models and actors are starving themselves or they are taking drugs in order to suppress their appetites. Another case in point is that when these models and actors do show up for their photo shoots the end product has been refined and 'touched up' to look 'perfect'.

In order to truly rise above this level of propoganda we need to take a realistic look at who and what we are and rely less on the media for our validation.

To see such self loathing was truly revelatory. These ladies were speaking of themselves as if they were Quasimodo, to ugly to face the world.

It is time to be more discerning in what we are reading and watching lest we join the queue of self loathing, neurotic women who no longer see their vibrant beautiful selves but instead are led to believe they do not deserve to be happy. Why? Because of their weight? Who led these women to believe they are not worthy of respect? And in the end why did they listen?

When you look in the mirror do you see a true and realistic reflection of yourself or do you think you are too ugly to be happy?

This woman was driven to tears because she thought herself too fat to be happy. What do YOU think?